| 00:00 - 00:05 | So I'm sat at home and reading the paper that this is Rangers worst start in 29 years... |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | The fourth official done us against Celtic and people are questioning my ability... |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | And I'm saying, keep calm, we're in the Europa League.. |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | The team are answering all the questions asked of them.. |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | A week later, I'm watching Killie score a last minute goal |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | And we're second looking back at Celtic in 6th.. |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | SIXTH |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | I drove past their fucking disco lights the other day |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | £1 million pound on green lights |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | Are they hoping to blind their fans so they can't see the pish on the pitch? |
| 00:47 - 00:50 | I phone Walter, and we're in tears over it. |
| 00:50 - 00:56 | They sell Dembele, bring in some leftover for £9m and then.... |
| 00:58 - 00:59 | ..and then spend £1m on those fucking lights! |
| 00:59 - 01:01 | I was told about the "Invincibles" |
| 01:04 - 01:06 | More like The fucking Osmonds |
| 01:06 - 01:08 | They've already started doing laps of honour |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | They must be kidding |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | Looks more like the line at the Parkhead dole office |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | Grifiiths will be hobbling with a crutch next |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | Fucking walking about like he's Christiano Ronaldo |
| 01:35 - 01:36 | They're a laughing stock everywhere |
| 01:36 - 01:39 | Even their manager has been since my days at Liverpool |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | Fucking the ladyboy in America...no |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | I shouldn't laugh at that, poor bastard |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | You can't help if you look down and see her baws |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | It must be like looking down and seeing your team in sixth |
| 01:54 - 01:56 | Fucking sixth |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | I'm on the phone to Gary Lineker back in May |
| 01:58 - 02:02 | I'm getting "no chance Stevie, they've got Scotland wrapped up for years" |
| 02:05 - 02:07 | Sixth |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | I'm reading about their dynasty |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | Fucking dynasty |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | Here we go seven in a row.. |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | World beaters who got pumped 7-0 by Barca |
| 02:21 - 02:28 | They've been handed the league titles for years and they thought disco lights would keep the masses happy |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | They're at it |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | £100 million in the bank |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | Is the fucking biscuit tin stacked with Dembele dollars? |
| 02:40 - 02:42 | Oh, I haven't laughed so hard in years |
| 02:50 - 02:55 | I had no idea a football club could be so pathetic |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | Captained by an ugly thug |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | When I came in I told the lads to go watch Rocky III as he's basically a white Clubber Lang |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | You remember? I pity the fool? |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | Oh you couldn't write it |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | I know where I'm going at New Years |
| 03:23 - 03:26 | Get those fucking lights on Brendan! |
| 03:31 - 03:36 | I wonder if I can borrow them for my birthday party, I think I'll get more fans turn up... |
